Lachlan Levi lewis Chambers

The Pit of Grief

The day my child died, I fell into the pit of grief. My friends watched me struggle through daily life; waiting for the person I once was to arise from the pit, not realizing 'she' is gone forever.

The pit is full of darkness, heartache and despair; it paralyzes your thoughts, movements and ability to ration. The pit leaves you forever changed, unable to surface the person you once were.

Some of my pre-grief friends gather around the top of the pit, waiting for the old me to appear before their eyes, not understanding what’s taking me so long to emerge. After all, in their eyes, I’ve been in the pit for quite sometime. Yet in my eyes, it seems as if I fell in only yesterday.

Not all of my pre-grief friends are gathered around the top of the pit. Some are helping me with the climb out of the darkness. They climb side by side with me from time to time, but mostly they climb ahead of me, waiting patiently at each plateau. Even with these friends I sometimes wonder if they are also waiting for the pre-grief me to magically appear before their eyes.

Then there are the casual acquaintances, you know the ones who say 'Hi, how are you?' when they really don't care or really want to know. These are the people who sigh in relief, that is my child who died and not theirs. You know ... the 'better them, than me' attitude.

My post-grief friends are the ones who climb with me, side by side, inch by inch, out of the pit of grief. They have no way of comparing the pit climbed to the pre-grief person I once was. You see, they started at the bottom of the pit with me. They are able to reassure me when I need reassurance, rest when I need resting, and encourage me to move forward when I don't have the strength. They have no expectations, no memories and no recollection of how I 'should' be. They want me to get better, to smile more often and find joy in life, but they also accepted the person I’ve become. The 'person' who is emerging from the pit.

Unknown Author

Tricia Donaldson Kierans Mum April 21, 2008

sorry

hi lachlan sorry i havent been on ya site for a while had a few problems with computer hope yav had a great day with tia nd all ya other lil friends in that lovely weather goodnight lil man love always andy karen nd family thanks for all your support xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Andy Tias Daddy Nd Mammy (Friend) April 13, 2008

hi sweetie sorry i not been on 4 a while neil broke my pc so usin aarons psp anyway hope u been a gd boy n havin lots of fun i spoke to nanny today she told me all the nasty things they been sayin they just dont realise sweetie how much mammy n nanny miss u anyway cariad its time to get some sleep take care sweetie b bk soon love always aunty tracy xxxxxx

Tracy (Aunt) March 24, 2008

hello

elo little one how u today its nearly easter i wonder wot yr mammy got u for easter i cant tell u thou she wont talk to me lol hows u day been hope u been a gud boy cos yr cousin aint they er always naughty hope u have had fun with grampa and nanny renolds anyway hope u fast asleep cos its really lata make sure u all snuggeled up in bed so u nice and warm i ll tell u a little secret about u mammy for u to tell everyone up there shes gettin old lol shh u cant tell her i said that thou gud nite hun sweetdreams i b back to talk to u soon xxx

Claire Rachel Sister (Sister) March 21, 2008

rachel dont let people get to you carry n what you are doing i know that you love lachlan very much. I hope your modeling will go a long why. people can be really bad in what you are doing put they do not understand what your self and sandra are going through.

Sharon Neath March 19, 2008

nite nite

nite nite

Mommy Frined Tasha (Friend) March 17, 2008

i know my daughter loves her baby

hi there lil man just thought i would tell you something mummy is going thought a rough time at the moment people are going on at her because she is doing modeling and people are leaving nasty massages on here for other people to see but like i told your mummy its up to her what she does and not to take notice of what other people are thinking of her ,i no that she misses you like i do and the person who left the message dont know what we have gone through i will leave you go now baby boy speak to you soon love hugs and kisses your nanny ....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx........

Sandra Chambers (Nanny) March 15, 2008

hi lil man

hi lil man
just wanna tell you your mommy loves you so much and miss you like crazy she alawys talkin about you and sometime cry you are the only person in her life that she loves dearly babe

Mommy (Friend) March 15, 2008

sorry

hi lil man everytime i come on herer now i seem to be appolagising but i just cant get on as much as i woukd like im finding it realy hard coming on nd talking to all my lil friends when all yous should be here with your families its hard looking at the twins nd thinking of our tia nd all my lil friends on gts its so kind of your families to still go on our tias site nd leave candles nd pics im so grateful for that i cant even go on our tias site yet its too hard to talk top her through gts when she should be here helping with the twins but there again i no she is looking after them as are you all love always lil one andy hi sandra hope your well nd thanx for all the support

Andy Tias Daddy Nd Mammy (Friend) March 9, 2008

hi sweetie

sorry i not been on for a couple of days sweetie but not been feeling myself. Hope u still been havin lots of fun with all your angel friends, n behaving for nanna reynolds. bet she spoiling u rotten. Anyway sweetie try to get some rest now n shut your eyes ready for another fun day. All my love aunty tracy. xxxxxxxx

Tracy (Aunt) March 7, 2008